Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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