so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
