I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
