She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
