I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
