Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
