I hope mine doesn't look like that
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
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woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
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orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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