So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
