So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
