It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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