we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
