Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
