This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
