Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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