Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
