AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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