Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
there is puke in my bra ... again
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
