We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize