Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
