I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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