Non-Jews are for practice
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
