Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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