just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize