She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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