accomplished twins. life is a go
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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