Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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