you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
