Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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