I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
