i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
either way he was missing a nipple.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
