Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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