I accidentally had phone sex last night
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
