At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
