worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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