Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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