How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
