but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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