butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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