i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
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