Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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