Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
