i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
