the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
