Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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