So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper