Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..