Don't you send me to vm
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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