Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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