never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We left the knife in your bed.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
