erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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