Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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