No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize