i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My breasts were aching with rage.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize