get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
