gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
