I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
