there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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