i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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