How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize